We were raised on CADBURY'S chocolate as kids and even into adulthood.
I will never eat it again..I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore. This is what happens when you eat Cadbury's chocolate!
THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING!
It could happen to you, your family and friends!
CADBURY'S Chocolate can cause SMALL FEET!
Contents of a Beatles Song
Usage of a Home Gym
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million". "Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her,
"But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".
"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
THE boss of the world’s first space travel firm has revealed how a film producer attempted to hire the world’s most advanced space craft – to make a porn movie.
Virgin Galactic president Will Whitehorn has said he was baffled when he was approached by someone interested in hiring the whole spacecraft – only to find out he was a porn baron.
The Scots-born boss, who heads-up Virgin’s space tourism arm for Richard Branson, said that he didn’t know how much was on offer, but that money was clearly no object.
The 49-year-old said: “We hot approached by someone who turned out to be a porn-film maker who wanted to hire the whole ship.
“They wanted to make a sex movie in space."
Shanghai will host the World Expo next year, and city officials are preparing for the influx of foreigners with a campaign to ban citizens from wearing their pajamas out in the streets. An article in the Chengdu Business Daily expresses outrage over the campaign as a civil rights abuse. Snip:
Many Shanghai residents are used to loitering around the streets in their pajamas. But now the municipal government is making every effort to stop them from doing so, because it would be a "loss of face" for city authorities if a foreigner sees people walking the streets in pajamas during the 2010 World Expo.
The NSA is constructing a datacenter in the Utah desert that they project will be storing yottabytes of surveillance data. And what is a yottabyte? I’m glad you asked.
On a remote edge of Utah's dry and arid high desert, where temperatures often zoom past 100 degrees, hard-hatted construction workers with top-secret clearances are preparing to build what may become America's equivalent of Jorge Luis Borges's "Library of Babel," a place where the collection of information is both infinite and at the same time monstrous, where the entire world's knowledge is stored, but not a single word is understood. At a million square feet, the mammoth $2 billion structure will be one-third larger than the US Capitol and will use the same amount of energy as every house in Salt Lake City combined.
Unlike Borges's "labyrinth of letters," this library expects few visitors. It's being built by the ultra-secret National Security Agency—which is primarily responsible for "signals intelligence," the collection and analysis of various forms of communication—to house trillions of phone calls, e-mail messages, and data trails: Web searches, parking receipts, bookstore visits, and other digital "pocket litter." Lacking adequate space and power at its city-sized Fort Meade, Maryland, headquarters, the NSA is also completing work on another data archive, this one in San Antonio, Texas, which will be nearly the size of the Alamodome.
Just how much information will be stored in these windowless cybertemples? A clue comes from a recent report prepared by the MITRE Corporation, a Pentagon think tank. "As the sensors associated with the various surveillance missions improve," says the report, referring to a variety of technical collection methods, "the data volumes are increasing with a projection that sensor data volume could potentially increase to the level of Yottabytes (1024 Bytes) by 2015." Roughly equal to about a septillion (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) pages of text, numbers beyond Yottabytes haven't yet been named. Once vacuumed up and stored in these near-infinite "libraries," the data are then analyzed by powerful infoweapons, supercomputers running complex algorithmic programs, to determine who among us may be—or may one day become—a terrorist. In the NSA's world of automated surveillance on steroids, every bit has a history and every keystroke tells a story.
This tangy coleslaw requires no preparation time and can be stored for days. KFC copycat recipes are always delicious. Give this copycat recipe a try today. 1. Core the cabbage, then shred the cabbage fine using the fine disk for the shredder attachment to the mixer. Shred the carrot the same way. Mix together cabbage, carrot and onion.
2. In a bowl combine the buttermilk, mayonnaise, milk and lemon juice with a whisk until well combined. Add the salt and pepper. Add the sugar to the sauce until well mixed in. Add the sauce to the cabbage and carrot mixture and mix well and allow the mixture to marinate for 13 hours in the refrigerator
This tangy coleslaw requires no preparation time and can be stored for days. KFC copycat recipes are always delicious. Give this copycat recipe a try today.
1. Core the cabbage, then shred the cabbage fine using the fine disk for the shredder attachment to the mixer. Shred the carrot the same way. Mix together cabbage, carrot and onion.
...but it pays to know German
An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man
drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser,
die Kuhe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!"
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and pigs have shit in it!"
The man shouts back: "I don't understand your gibberish.
The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
I LOVE THIS WOMAN
An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam..
I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man
and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I bought this hat yesterday!"
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family is expanded,
so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive.
The congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke,
"Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."
Silence fell over the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand,
and finally said in her frail voice,
“Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in
Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy
armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and
asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the
end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter
and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She
turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them,
revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy
a lady another drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar
and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me,
Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why
do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has
got to be a ballerina!
David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex......
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09.... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07.. Foursomes are encouraged.
#06... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05.... Three times a day is possible.
#04... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.
#02... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#01... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me.
Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"
Jacob, age 81 and Rebecca,age 80, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The Works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
A doctor was addressing a large audience at Oxford.
"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it...Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 70 year old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake?"
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
- Strange Things I Have Found
- Do You Eat Cadbury’s Chocolate?
- Graphics with critical information
- Women are smarter than men :-)
- Suprise her with a bigger penis at Barbie site
- CIA uses shoelaces to send messages!
- No porn movies on Virgin Galactic
- Earthrace - Anti-Whaling Stealth Boat
- Don't wear your jammies in Shanghai anymore!
- NSA to store yottabytes of surveillance data in Utah mega repository
- The KFC Coleslaw Secret is out!
- Life on Europa ? Scientists think so
- Worlds Most Beautiful Object...WTF!
- Giant Blobs of "Sea Mucus" are invading the Mediterranean Sea - Yuck!
- Transparent Public Toilet
- Top Story in Singapore Strait Times Website Today - 3 women caught at sex orgy
- In the following pictures, you see people with very strong facial expressions
- You Lie!
- How to tell the sex of a fly
- Another sign of global warming - Noctilucent clouds over the USA and parts of Europe
- Nomura's jellyfish threaten Japanese fishing industry
- Change Has Come to Washington
- The World According to Americans
- Today's Technology
- Reasons To Smile
- The Polite Way to Pee:
- The Redneck Fire Alarm
- Women breaks world record for Vagina lifting! - now that's talent
- Bizarre Sign of the Week
- Serena William's Tshirt is a classic!
- Iranian recount results
- Largest Yacht Record lasts 1 month
- Touching speech by President Obama in Cairo
- Want a new Rolls Royce for 30,000 pounds?
- Who has the most images online?
- Price of Prostitutes in Hong Kong
- Is that a microphone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
- We live in a sick world!
- The inside of a Google Server
- So Far Conficker is a dud
- Conficker virus
- New pictures of ISS with new solar panels
- The Amish are non-violent people..
- Blowing in the Wind
- A Pastor’s Paycheck
- Give the Ballerina a drink!
- David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex......
- Are My Testicles Black ?
- Senior Wedding
- Do you fart in bed?
- Dangerous Goods
- Dear God!
- My New Earring
- Locker Room Talk
- Random Jokes
- Photo Album
- Contact Me